Trust is a delicate thing and is the foundation of all truly intimate relationships. For many, it is hard to trust others due to past experiences or pains from past abuses. We almost always approach the discussion on trust from the perspective of “Can I trust (fill in a name)?” However, it is just as important that we approach the issue of trust from the perspective of “Can I be trusted?”
In a Christian marriage, trust is even more multi-faceted. I have to learn to trust my spouse in a very intimate way and in every aspect of my life. I trust my spouse with my finances, children, possessions, time, sexuality, emotions, and my heart. It is no small thing and when trust is broken in a marriage, it negatively effects every aspect of our life. The trust we have in our spouse is never static and is always growing stronger or eroding. Here are some questions to think through:
- Are you trustworthy? – The answer is that in Christ, we are. As we access and depend upon the heart and mind of Christ we can be counted on to seek the other’s best interested; never engage in activities that hurt or harm our spouse; sacrificially act in ways that encourage, build up, and strengthen our spouse.
- How can you build trustworthiness? – How are your actions effecting your spouse’s ability to trust you? Each of us learns to trust the other by determining whether or not we can depend on them. Do your actions, thoughts and deeds remind your spouse:
- I will choose to love you regardless of your actions
- I will choose your best interests over mine regardless of the cost
- I will choose to forgive regardless of your behavior
When high levels of trust are present in a relationship, amazing things happen. Sins against each other are discussed and forgiven quickly and we are able give each other the benefit of the doubt. Little problems remain little and don’t grow into larger problems.
So what are you doing to improve the level of trust in your relationship? How are you allowing Jesus to express himself through you in a way that allows others to trust Him, rely on Him and depend on Him? How are you being the hands, feet and mouth of Jesus thereby being a more trustworthy person in your relationships?