The death of the dream happens to every couple. None of us gets our dream in the way that we dreamt it, because none of us is writing our own story. God, in his love, writes a better story than we could ever write for ourselves. He has a better dream than the one we conceive. He knows much better than we do what is best for us. He will take us places that we never intended to go because, in doing so, we become more of what he re-created us in Christ to be. Could it be that as we begin to face the harsh reality of the death of our individual and shared dreams, we are not struggling to love one another but are being given the opportunity to love one another more than ever before? It is when attraction wanes, flaws show, and the dream dies that real love has its best opportunity to germinate and grow. This sad and disillusioning moment is not the end of it all, but the beginning of something wonderful. We could argue that God now has us right where He wants us. We are no longer attracted to one another out of self-centered desire. We are no longer holding onto our dream, because it has melted away before our very eyes. We are hurt and frightened because what had fueled our relationship is gone, and we don’t know what to do. But this is not a defeat; this is an opportunity to exit the small space of the kingdom of self and to begin to enjoy the beauty and benefits of the kingdom of God. What appears to be love may not be love, and when God reveals that, it is a very good thing. What happened to us did not happen because God was absent from our marriage. No, it happened precisely because God was present and was rescuing us from ourselves and giving us what we could not produce on our own. 1
February 20th begins a six week study of What Did You Expect, an amazing study of what God intended marriage for. The above paragraph is a paraphrase of a section in chapter three. It was hugely impactful because it was reflective of our marriage and is reflective of every marriage I have ever known.
Interested in joining us, click here.
- Tripp, Paul David. What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage (pp. 49-50). Crossway. Kindle Edition.