Like romance, sensuality is another important part of intimate relationships that suffers from our busy lives. Your sex life may become a little sparse after the twins, but often sensuality is dropped completely. Sensuality is the physical enjoyment of each other. While it includes intercourse, it is not limited to intercourse and includes things such as a gentle touch in passing, holding hands, running your hands through your spouse’s hair while watching TV, or a simple foot message. Kicking it up a notch and you will find yourself giving each other full body messages with scented oils. Sensuality can engage all five senses and often requires planning. It will be hard to share chocolate dipped strawberries in bed if no-one does the dipping. A candle can’t be lit unless it has first been bought. Sharing your favorite romantic music requires someone to create a playlist and purchase a speaker. A fully body message is better with the right kind of oils and, at my age, a massage table. Even though sensuality may take a little time, the payoff in vulnerability and connectedness is significant.
However, not all sensuality requires an investment or planning. Simply making it a habit to hold hands, feed each other a spoon full of chocolate cake over dinner, or walk with your hand in the middle of her back all adds to sensuality and intimacy. This evening, take a few minutes before going to sleep and share with each other what you think of when you think of sensuality. What is one thing you can add to your “intimacy map” that would help improve your romantic life?
Our friends at Fierce Marriage took some time to provide some additional resources in this area. You can find those resources here.